I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
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He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
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