is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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