You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
Randomize
