Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
Semen is not good for contacts.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize
