then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
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