Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
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