just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize
