i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
