Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
