He asked to "fluff my boner.."
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
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