The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
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