For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
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