There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
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He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
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