o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
