so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Randomize
