yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Come on in and take your pants off
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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