I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
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