I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
