I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
