she looked like the bat from fern gully.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
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