I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
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