and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Randomize
