you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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