So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
Randomize