My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Randomize
