we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
I forget how to act sober
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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