Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
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