ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize