I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
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