I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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