Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
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