I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
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