hell yes lets make some ravioli
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
