so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Randomize
