Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Randomize
