I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
ok first of all what the fuck
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Randomize
