I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
Randomize
