i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
