You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
