I can't breathe out the right side of my face
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
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