If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
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