At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Randomize
