pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
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