In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
I just forgot I was standing up.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
Randomize
