one word: firstdatebathroomanal
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
So. Much. Porn.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
