Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
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