the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
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