I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
