i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
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