he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
I feel like abortions should bother me more
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Randomize
