i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Randomize