we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
