I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Randomize
