I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
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