I'm eating all of the evidence.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
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Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
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