Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
Randomize
