dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
My feet surprised me
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
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