"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
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