just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
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Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
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Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
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