I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Randomize
