Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Randomize