Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
