Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
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