This girl is more easily done than said...
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
Randomize
