Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
Randomize
