EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
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