We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
I'm at about main and main street
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
Randomize