I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you remember whose house we're in?
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
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