I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
