I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
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